Eroticism In Motherhood: It’s time to dismantle the taboo
Today, I wanted to write about a topic that's as spicy as it is taboo: eroticism in motherhood.
We all know and feel society has a major case of discomfort when it comes to motherhood and eroticism, true? It's like we're expected to hang up our sensual selves along with our pre-baby dreams. But here's the thing: Motherhood doesn't erase our desires, our sensuality, or our innate erotic nature. In fact, in my experience it amplifies it in the most beautiful ways.
So why the taboo? Well, let's face it: We live in a world that loves to put women in neat little boxes. The Madonna or the whore. The nurturing mother or the seductive temptress. But guess what? We're not here to play by society's rules. We're here to rewrite the script, reclaim our power, and celebrate every facet of our divine femininity.
Now, you might be thinking, "But why is it important to explore eroticism as mothers?" Great question! Here's the scoop: Embracing our erotic selves isn't just about spicing up our sex lives (although that's definitely a bonus). It's about reconnecting with the primal, raw, unapologetic essence of who we are. It's about tapping into our sensuality, desires, our pleasures, and our fantasies, and giving ourselves permission to indulge in them fully.
When we embrace our erotic nature as mothers, we're not just reclaiming our sexuality; we're reclaiming our power. We're saying, "Hey world, I'm a mother, a lover, a creative, and a woman, and I refuse to be confined by your shitty outdated stereotypes."
We're teaching our children that pleasure is a natural, beautiful part of life, and that there's nothing shameful about owning our desires.
But let's keep it real: Exploring eroticism as mothers isn't always easy. We're juggling a million and one responsibilities, battling sleep deprivation, and trying to keep our sanity intact. The last thing on our minds is usually getting frisky.
Well here's the secret: Eroticism isn't just about what happens in the bedroom. Eroticism expands way beyond sexuality. It is your aliveness, life force, vitality and natural joy that is lived through your senses.
Your erotic energy is the primal, passionate, and creative intelligence that breathes and moves you. Activating your eroticism happens when you infuse as much of your life with passion, intention, creativity, and sensuality, as you can.
So how do we do it? How do we embrace our erotic selves in motherhood? The answer lies in giving ourselves permission to prioritise pleasure.
Whether it's moving your body, connecting to your breath, indulging in a regular sensual bath, reading a good book, dancing naked under the moon with other women (or is that just me ha), going for walks in nature, cooking up a storm in the kitchen, being intimate with yourself or another, or simply giving yourself spaciousness to create. Whatever it is, find what sets your soul on fire and make it a non-negotiable part of your weekly or even daily routine.
Motherhood may have given me stretch marks and sleepless nights, but it's also given me a newfound appreciation for my body, my pleasure, my resilience, and my capacity for love. And in my opinion, the sexiest thing a mother can be is unapologetically herself - the raw, wild, fierce, creative, sensual, loving, soft, and the EROTIC.
So, what can we do to dismantle the taboo surrounding eroticism in motherhood? Here are a few ideas to get us started:
Challenge the Double Standards: Call out the double standards and hypocrisy that perpetuate the taboo surrounding eroticism in motherhood. Why is it acceptable for fathers to express their sexuality openly, while mothers are expected to hide theirs away? By shining a light on these inconsistencies, we can start to break down the barriers that keep us trapped in shame and secrecy.
Normalise Conversations About Sexuality: Start having open, honest conversations about sexuality, desire, and pleasure with other mothers and within your communities. Share your own experiences, struggles, and wins, and create a safe space for others to do the same. By normalising discussions around sexuality, we can help chip away at the stigma and shame that surround it.
Celebrate Diversity: Embrace the diversity of erotic expression within motherhood. Recognise that every woman's journey with eroticism is unique and valid, and that there is no one-size-fits-all definition of what it means to be a sexual being. Celebrate the myriad ways in which mothers express their desires, from the subtle to the bold, and honour the beauty of each individual's erotic landscape.
Educate and Empower: Educate yourself and others about the importance of sexual empowerment and autonomy in motherhood. Arm yourself with knowledge about the physiological, psychological, spiritual and emotional benefits of embracing our erotic selves, and share that knowledge far and wide. Empower other mothers to reclaim their bodies, their desires, and their pleasure, and stand together in solidarity against the forces that seek to silence us.
Lead by Example: Finally, lead by example. Be unapologetically yourself, both as a mother and as a sexual being. Embrace your desires, your passions, and your sensuality with fierce determination, and refuse to let anyone dim your light. Show the world that eroticism and motherhood are not mutually exclusive, but rather two sides of the same beautifully complex coin.
It's time to tear down the walls of shame and secrecy that have kept eroticism in motherhood hidden away for far too long. By challenging the double standards, normalising conversations about sexuality, celebrating diversity, educating and empowering ourselves and others, and leading by example, we can break free from the confines of societal expectations and embrace our erotic selves with wildly and openly if we so choose.
So here's to embracing your erotic self, igniting your passions, and rewriting the rules of motherhood one sensual step at a time.
Love Alisha, xxx
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